Chatterbox

Somewhere in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner, Addy decided that she wanted to be heard and she hasn't stopped talking yet. Granted, her sentences consist of a long string of "oooooo's" but she's got a lot to say.

Since we weren't having dinner with friends and family on Thanksgiving, we had dinner with a friend's family. It was very nice and they made us feel very welcome. There were a lot of kids - or maybe it just seemed like a lot. I stayed with the women-folk inside while the men-folk sat outside drinking beer. This is life after childbirth, huh? Regardless, we now have a better memory of Addy's first Thanksgiving than The Husband and I heating up frozen pizza and wishing there were something good on TV.

I am now on a mission to find a local contractor to replace our roof. I keep procrastinating because I don't want to hear that I can't get a new roof until late next year. Of course, the more I procrastinate, the lower I will be on the list. I want to find a local company not only to keep my money in the city but also so I know where to go if we have a problem. Mr. Texas and his merry band of workers might be cheap and easy but I'd like this roof to last a while.

I don't look forward to replacing the roof for another reason and that is because it's original to the house (which is about 100 years old). I'm looking for some way that I can save pieces of the discarded slate to incorporate into a patio or something. I'll probably just end up with piles of said slate in my backyard for years to come.

BONUS TIME: I have a code to get 20% off oldnavy.com from now until December 4th. I'm assuming that it will work more than once - but if not then best wishes to the first person to try it: B129PHD6S32M

The Short List of Big Thanks

I am thankful for...

...the birth of a healthy daughter
... a fabulous husband
... a loving and supportive family
... friends who have come through in amazing ways
... our home, safe and sound

I am also thankful for...

... Red Cross volunteers who kept us fed, watered and iced
... kitties who have tolerated upheaval in stride
... first smiles, coos and laughs
... an adopted family to have turkey with
... sleeping through the night
... our pediatrician's office
... unofficial paid paternity leave
... slate roofs
... imaginary blogger buddies
... those of you that came back and are going to stay

There She Blows

This morning The Husband told me about a news clip where an expert on levees said that there is no point in rebuilding New Orleans since it will be underwater in ninety years. There are arguments for and against this point. The bottom line is that New Orleans is my home and the commercial and tourist districts need very little rebuilding. As I drove around this morning I realized that what I am seeing is not what is being broadcasted around the world. I can drive you for miles around the city and all you will see are fallen trees and limb debris. There will be no flood lines and no dogs floating down the street. In fact there are fewer stray animals in the city than before the storm and we have animal rescue groups to thank for that (more about this later).

In order to get myself to leave the house daily, I have to focus on how great New Orleans is going to be. I have to remind myself that this city is the safest it has been for as long as I have lived here. I look at all of the restaurants and stores that have reopened and applaud as new ones open daily. There are still so many beautiful houses to be gawked at and Audubon Park is totally clear of any debris. The Zoo, The Farmer’s Market and Cafe Du Monde are all open and there are still shadows cast by the oaks on St. Charles Avenue at midday. I see kids and people out jogging and walking their dogs. THIS is what I see.

I have noticed that people who no longer live in New Orleans see an entirely different city when they come to retrieve their stuff. They see a home that they can no longer return to. They see flood lines and piles of furniture outside of homes. They see X’s on everyone’s door with coded numbers depicting the number of casualties. My favorite are the spray painted narratives left by the animal rescue crews that mar the walls of otherwise pristine, undamaged homes: “TWO DOGS FOUND UNDER PORCH IN BACKYARD 9/26 ONE POSSIBLE DEAD CAT CALL 555-4342 FOR INFO GOD BLESS”. There are so many favorite restaurants still closed as well as our Whole Foods. The worst of it are the empty streets. The streets where no one is living because they have nothing to return to. This is what THEY see, those that can’t come back. They have to see it this way or they wouldn’t be able to leave.

I often want to scream when I see a television show, testimonial or e-mail stating that it’s all for naught, that there is nothing left. There is something left. There are families and traditions. There are red beans on Mondays and there will be bonfires Christmas Eve.

One of the hardest parts about living here right now is co-mingling with all of the people who have moved here after the storm. Like every population, most people are great and there are a small number of assholes. Usually these assholes come in the shape of contractors who ride around in pickup trucks with out of state plates, ignore traffic rules and park on medians and sidewalks. So, when a mini van with New York plates passed me on the right not once but TWICE today on a one lane stretch of road, I kind of lost it. Actually, that’s an understatement. I “kind of lost it” the first time they passed me and had to stop in order not to hit a line of parked cars. They were obviously in a hurry to pass the traffic on St. Charles. It was then that I rolled down my window and yelled, “what the hell are you doing?” and gave them and unfriendly hand gesture. You could say that I had a total meltdown at a stop light (still one lane) when they pulled up next to me to pass when the light turned green.

That was when I got out of my car and with a large number of explicatives told them to stop driving like cowboys and to obey the traffic laws of my city. The white haired hippie lady in the drivers seat denied driving like a cowboy and related to me that they were down here helping out and that I need to be nicer to people. I then effectively relayed to her my disappointment in her existence, got back in my car and drove home. The words painted on the side of the mini van? Animal Rescue.

When I pulled into my driveway I started to cry and laugh hysterically all at the same time. I cried because I as raised better than to jump out of my car and yell at at strangers. I cried because I of all people was picking fights with someone who has probably seen more dead pets in the past three months than anyone should have to - ever. I cried because there was no one other than The Husband that could relate to me because they’ve all moved away. But mostly I just laughed.

I later did find a recent evacuee to commiserate with. She hates the animal people more than I do. She ranted about breaking windows to rescue gerbils and used the word “fascist” a lot.

At least I’ve gotten it out of my system and I most likely will not lose my mind again anytime soon. I seem to be on a six month cycle. Two things happened to me today that were very successful. I took Addy to her three month appointment and she measured in at the 97th percentile for height and weight. I also had a very nice meeting with our insurance adjuster who seemed to over inflate my damage estimates.

We're on our way back.

Charmer

It would be dishonest of me to lead y'all to believe that Addy is all smiles all the time. In fact, yesterday was one of those days when she was far from her normal, charming self.

Not Nobody, Not Nohow!

Dear Adelaide: Month Three

Dear Crazy Monkey Addy,

You have been amazing this month. You notice new things every day and your disposition still continues to be charming ... that is unless you are in a car for 15 hours straight or if I had onions on a chili dog the previous day and you completely refused to eat and we had to pass you around for five hours while you screamed until I got the bright idea to pump my breasts and start over. So basically, as long as I don't torture you, you are a darling baby.

You noticed your hands this month and sucked on your thumb two days in a row. This was encouraging as you won't take a pacifier and sometimes I'd like you comfort you without disrobing. You also noticed your feet when I sat you in a chair to take your photo.


Your hands go into your mouth frequently and somehow make their way into mine while I am holding you. You gaze at patterns and have started to enjoy your toys. You love your rocking chair and the toy pig and cow that suspend from it. A toy lamb also suspends from the chair but you HATE the lamb. You yell at the lamb and then return to wooing the other two plastic animals. You are very strange. I am able to sneak in some tummy time by using your floor mat but for the most part, you disdain being left on your stomach.

My favorite things about you at this age are your coos and your smiles which you dole out without discretion. You still scream when you are hungry and leaving you with your father for long periods is not possible. We are working on getting you to take a bottle but it's an uphill battle.

Although you have been sleeping more frequently in your co-sleeper, I still pull you into bed with us in the early morning. There is nothing better than waking up to your smiles and wiggling body next to mine.


In the first three months of your life you have stayed in Louisiana, South Carolina, Arizona (twice) and traveled through many states. You have spent more time outside of the city you were born in than in it. We are unsure about your status as a United States citizen as the hospital that you were born in has flooded as well as City Hall. As a result, your birth certificate and Social Security card are M.I.A. This could also be attributed to our wonky mail system.

With all of the craziness over the past three months you remain a constant joy.

Love,
Mommy

Maybe I'm Not Crazy

There a lot of things that one puts up with while living in New Orleans. I never expect cashiers to be friendly or even look me in the eye. I have learned that service is slow unless I am in the right restaurant and then service is just expensive. I have heard mothers berate their children in my presence on more occasions than I care to recall.

A lot of this has changed after the storm. Things are quieter. So when a car sat outside our house the other day with the stereo loud enough to shake the windows, it took all that I had not to go out and tell them that they had to stop; that I wouldn't tolerate it anymore. Apparently, I'm not alone in my feelings that things cannot return to just how they were. My attention was drawn to this article.

God help the next person who uses what we affectionately refer to as the "ghetto doorbell."

Katrina Kard

1. Your alma mater offering you a teaching job and subsidized housing; 2. Harvard accepting you to continue your 2nd year of law school with only a phone call; 3. Getting on the front page of your hometown newspaper; and 4. Watching a Texas State Trooper to give you a written warning when you obviously were going way too fast.

I amguilty of number four. When The Husband told me that he was not due back in the office for over two weeks, I had one word (or two) Road Trip. So, we packed up the baby and apparently our good sense and drove to Tucson. The drive wasn't so bad but I am beginning to thing that infant car seats are cruel. How is anyone supposed to drive with a screaming baby in the back?

I packed Addy's favorite toy. But I did not bring her favorite chair, therefore, I am not sure how we are going to get her to fall asleep without rocking her.

Well, off to try once again to calm my screaming, darling child.

Baby Talk

We have entire conversations in our house by blowing raspberries to each other. It started out just being Adelaide and me but then I cought myself communicating to The Husband by pressing my lips together and exhaling.

I thought I was the only one suffering from babytalkitis until I overheard The Husband in the kitchen, by himself, narrating his actions and saying each sentence twice. Was he repeating himself? Oh yes he was. Daddy was repeating himself! Silly Daddy.

Errr. Where was I?

Civilization

Yesterday we got our mail delivered to our home and trash pick-up (the kind where they don't take your trash cans). Two signs that New Orleans may survive yet.

Last night I left Addy with The Husband and went to chorus practice. It's a two hour rehearsal. Whenever I leave the two of them together, I make a silent wish upon returning that everything goes well. Despite my best efforts to feed a diaper before I leave, I call still hear the screams from outside the door upon my return. Granted The Husband does not have The Magical Mammaries but there is no reason why she goes ballistic for two whole hours. They both need more practice being in each others sole company. I'm afraid that I might one day return to Addy mindlessly channel surfing and The Husband rocking himself in the corner with his thumb in his mouth.

Ill Communication

Our land line for the house phone worked all through the hurricane and for about a week after we returned. For some reason it is now down and has been for several days. Surprisingly our cable provider had their act together enough to keep us connected. Our biggest communication challenge throughout all of this has been the cell phones. As more and more people have moved back in, our service has gotten even worse. We are constantly dropping calls, not being able to be heard and not getting calls through.

Barabara #8097 called me from FEMA early this morning and no sooner had I said, "my phone isn't working well, if we get disconnected please call me back" that the call was dropped. Barbara #8097 never called me back. Now I am awake and grumpy and frustrated.

My brother suggested that I contact our cell phone provider (who is Cingular by the way) and complain. I've tried but here's the catch - I keep getting disconnected and I have no land line.

Oh well it's hard to stay grumpy for long when I have a sweet monkey blowing raspberries at me from her rocking chair. Raspberries are now the funniest things in the WHOLE WORLD to Adelaide. She is completely unaware how much funnier her farts are.

We went to my former employers yesterday to pick up some volunteer work. I have some data entry to do and I'll be matching up local troops with benefactors all over the country. I built a website for them a few months ago out of the kindness of my heart because the job that I was getting paid for took very little of my time. It's a very simple site. I am not a professional web designer and know only enough HTML to tinker around but don't ask me about CSS, Java and the like because you will get a blank stare. Apparently the web designer that they pay messed it up since my absence.

I've been asked to fix the site and I agreed to but this will be a one time deal. Before going on maternity leave, I made a proposal to my employers to work part time in the office and part time from home or the road. I threw in the fact that I could continue to maintain the website. The answer to my proposal was a resounding, "NO." NO negotiations. NO compromises. NO. NO. NO. So you can understand the bitter taste in my mouth now that I have been asked to fix the site for free when they are keeping a professional web designer on the payroll who only manages to screw up the very simple site that I built.

In other news, I was catching up on Leery Polyp yesterday and saw this post on Elimination Communication. I am amazed. Addy hates a wet diaper but there is no cue that I have noticed to warn me when she's going to go. There are plenty of cues for when she wants to be fed, however. The last cue being severe meltdown. This happened yesterday at the office combined with severe overstimulation. I went into panic mode and finally found a dark corner to compose myself and the little cherub.

Well, time to meet my goal of going for a walk today. It feels like it takes a mere three hours to get ready to leave the house these days.

The Family Bed

Sometimes life gets too crowded sharing a bed with The Husband, two sprawling cats and a baby.

The Aftermath

The period of relief that The Husband and I felt is pretty much over as we deal with utility companies, insurance adjusters and demands from our tenants. Actually, The Tenants have been pretty quiet lately as stories of landlords screwing people royally make their way around the city.

The Husband and I are grappling with being parents and both of us being home all day, every day until the New Orleans Judicial System gets its feet back on the ground. As I've said, we got very little damage but as someone pointed out to me yesterday, we've all lost something. For us, it was our entire social network. I'm not an extroverted person and am content staying at home for the most part. The Husband is the opposite and goes bonkers if he doesn't get out regularly. Our social life now consists of catching friends as they return to pack up their stuff and leave. This makes for a rather melancholy visit. As The Husband put it, these are people that we should have the luxury of taking for granted.

Parenthood is probably the only thing keeping us sane right now. Addy is the coolest person in my world. It doesn't hurt that I'm the coolest person in her world too. This week she met Auntie KK again who has returned to New Orleans (to pack up her stuff and leave us - grrr). I guess that now we'll we'll have to ship Addy up to Queens for Auntie KK to slip her a glass of champagne. Seriously though, I know it's hard for her to leave but I'm happy that she's taking the opportunity now to go back to school and become not only a super foodie but a chef.

The holes in our lives will lessen over time. I've started singing again. The Husband will get a regular work schedule one of these days. There is a couple down the street that I've been dying to introduce myself to and now the woman is pregnant so at least I can be the dreaded annoying stranger and ask her when she is due. We do have family friends in the area that I go WAY back with who have been more family since my pregnancy and the hurricane than simply friends.

I'm an optimist and I know that we will regain normalcy in our lives. However, I am saddened by what has been taken from us and wish the best to all of our exiled friends wherever you are.