New Beginnings

I quit my job yesterday. I didn't think that I would feel so bad. With all that has happened and the uncertainty of The Husband's job, I put off calling HR to let them know - I was also undecided as it appeared that some positions were opening because of the storm. However, with the fact that the CDC has declared my city unfit for kids at the moment and I don't know how I would even go about finding a daycare since my home is now a ghost town, it was best to make the call.

I felt horrible after I got off the phone. I had the aching feeling that I was jumping ship. The organization for which I worked is in shambles right now. Eight people are on unpaid leave. The office has been opened for two days and yet only our HR person was working yesterday. They won't be hiring for the positions left open due to the fact that they anticipate at least a 50% drop in revenue next year.

Because of this I have vowed to myself to volunteer (probably doing my old job) a few hours a week. I figure if I'm volunteering they can't tell me not to bring my kid.

Despite how much I complained about crazy coworkers and just how cranky I became towards the end of my pregnancy, I was proud to work for them and it was the first job that I've had in an organization that I could stand behind.

That being said and on a not so unrelated note... A lot of people have offered to assist us since evacuating. We've been on the receiving end of incredible generosity in various forms. I am asking a favor from those of you who still wish to contribute.

The Girl Scout Council of Southeast Louisiana suffered incredible losses due to Katrina. The council office sustained serious roof and water damage. The most heartbreaking loss was the destruction of their two camps. The camps provided girls with acres of land for activities and overnight stays. There were teenage girls from New Orleans who had never left the city until attending a Girl Scout event.

Please consider donating by clicking the link below. Very little has been given thus far which is why I am posting today.

Wade in the Water

Thank you Rita. You have nearly smashed my optimism and crushed my spirit. How's Idaho this time of year? It's hard to imagine going back to New Orleans. I'm not even sure that I want to go back. My insurance company called me today to make sure that I had the claim numbers. It wasn't even an adjuster - just some administrative person. It's not like I have anything to tell them anyway except, where is my money for living expenses? Why hasn't anyone contacted me about putting us up while we are unable to get to our home? Granted, we don't need it because we are fortunate enough to have family but what if we didn't? Would we have to go to a shelter with an infant?

I'm tired of being an evacuee. I just want to be able to go home.

On the bright side, I'm still enjoying Arizona. I went to a Target today and found the nearest Starbucks yesterday. I also went to my first Trader Joe's this week and looooved it. We visited an nearly empty Tubac and I picked out some things that I would like to buy before leaving.

Addy has been fussy the past couple of days. We think it might be due to the fact that she hates to sleep. She fights sleep all the time and has become over-tired. She's going to have a big day tomorrow as we make impressions of her hands and feet for a paving stone to put in my parents' barren backyard.

We're still hanging in there. I'm so thankful for family and friends.

Accidental Tourist

Tucson is beautiful. I have seen very little my parent's house has a great view of the mountains. Wow. Mountains. I can't wait to tour around the area today.

Traveling with Addy wasn't so bad. She slept most of the time and I found that if I stood around looking helpless, someone would fold the stroller for me.

Breastfeeding wasn't fun but I did it. One of the legs from DC to Phoenix had a bunch of French folks on it (who knew?). I kept telling myself that Europeans think nothing about women nursing in public. The nice French lady next to us called her "tres jolie". Even the flight attendants were more than happy to take her off my hands for a moment while I got settled.

All in all, fairly painless although we miss The Husband. Addy only has one person to beat up during the night now.

Dear Adelaide: Month One

Dear Addy-Pants,

It seemed like I had so much to say to you but now I'm blocked. I'll start with a word of thanks. Thank you for being a bright spot in our lives at this time. Caring for you and watching you change every day has kept our minds off the obvious. Sure, we watch CNN 24/7 but it's broken up with your demands for milk, play or a diaper change.

Speaking of milk, I have never seen so much excitement over my boobs. Your enthusiasm rivals only that of a pack of eighth grade boys. I think that you are going through a growth spurt right now and as a result, my milk production has gone bonkers and when I wake up in a puddle on the bed I'm not sure who leaked, me or you.

We've been sleeping with you in the bed since a couple of days before the storm. I think that we all sleep better that way - except for last night when you were up every two hours. Usually you wake only for food but sometimes you want to play. The first time you did this, you woke me up by kicking my back and pulling at my PJ's. You have taken to whining if I sleep with my back to you. I don't know how you can tell that I'm no longer facing you with your eyes closed. I think you are psychic.

You are a good car rider which is fortunate since you have spent so many hours in your carseat. You also take well to other people but it's magical when I can take you from someone, fussing, and soothe you instantly. This doesn't always work and during those times you are under Daddy's care.

You are my sunshine Miss Addy-Pants, Chickenhead, Addy-Loo-Hoo and Monkey-Butt.

Love,

Mommy

Places

After the first day of failed induction when I was still pregnant (birth story to come, I promise), I was given about four hours off the monitors and fluids; ah freedom. The Husband and I walked around the hospital since there was no where else that I was allowed to go. I was disappointed, confused, angry and upset. We spent some time on a balcony and in the gift shop. We popped into the hospital chapel for a moment to check it out but I didn't feel much like being there of all places so we continued our tour.

I saw that same chapel on CNN last night. There were at least four bodies in it as it served as a makeshift morgue.

I keep seeing images of our city that I recognize and although I understand the amount of destruction, I still have no idea what to expect upon our return. Sometimes I feel like I am in denial about the whole thing but I also understand that I am too busy trying to figure out what our short term plans are to even contemplate where we will be a year from now and how I will get a contractor to fix any roof damage.

All in all, we're in great shape. We're incredibly fortunate. I am pretty sure that we were saved from any flooding and I also hope that we were spared from leaks and mold growth. In the meantime we're just hanging out.

Big Bird

Today there is a special Sesame Street episode about hurricanes. Big Bird's entire nest got blown away. I felt that I could identify with his feelings which were anger, sadness, and hunger. I'm not sure where the hunger fit in but I'll buy it.

My body is telling me to slow down. I think that because I had so little pain after the operation coupled with the need to get-the-hell-out-of-Dodge, I didn't allow myself to rest as required after birthing a baby. The only problem is that I'm not sure how I'm going to slow down now. I'm sure that carrying Addy around in a Snuggli two days in a row while shopping at Target didn't help any.

Addy amazes me every day and has made the worst four weeks of my life (other than getting dumped in '92 - boy that was rough :) ) also the best four weeks. Her neck muscles are getting so strong and she's bonding a lot with her father. They've found an activity that they both enjoy.

Eureka!

Today I got my first, no holds barred, no question about it, full on SMILE from Miss Addy. She'd been flashing little grins since shortly after birth but I of course knew better. Finally all of those goofy faces and voices are paying off.

We went to Target yesterday and spent too much money ... at least some things never change. I bought a nursing tank top which I love and had to go back today to buy another. Other than that, The Husband and I bought a lot of clothes for ourselves. Is there anything better than the Target clearance racks?

We are on our way downtown for lunch and a walk in the park. It sure beats watching another episode of Judging Amy and the rest of the afternoon lineup on TNT.

Evacuation in Pictures: Part I

Our House is a Very, Very, Very Fine House

The Calm Before the Storm
The next day we evacuated one hour north to Mandeville.

The Morning After
The front yard of the house where we weathered the storm.
Not one tree in the nineteen that fell hit the house.

Others were not as lucky.

Chillin' in Mandeville
This is where Addy learned that she preferred to be held all of the time.
No one seemed to mind. Next Stop: South Carolina

Settling In

Relief Effort
People's generosity is astounding.

I have a flight booked for Tucson departing Columbia on the 19th. Addy and I will be staying with my parents for two weeks and will hopefully be able to get back into the city at that time. The Husband has a flight booked as well but we are unsure about whether he will be going as his work situation is up in the air. I of course don't want to bring Addy back to the city too soon since yellow fever would be something best avoided.

Maybe when we get back from AZ we'll just hop in the car and do a tour of the East Coast. I'd start by driving up to Vermont and make our way down stopping in Provincetown (The Cape off season is fabulous), Boston, DC, skip the Carolinas, Athens, Atlanta and THEN to New Orleans.

The only problem with that plan is the price of gas. BOO!

Quite frankly, this whole evacuation thing is starting to suck.

Housekeeping

Although I look forward to returning to my home, I will not hide the fact that I was disappointed to hear that a bus full of New Orleans evacuees checked into our hotel last night. Since arriving in Columbia, I have been reminded how normal cities operate and what it's like to get good service. I have been reminded of simple pleasantries.

Addy had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday. She weighed 10lbs., 8oz. and was 22.25". She has already outgrown two outfits. She's long and lean. I am not sure that she is my child.

Head Games

In my head the houses across from the seminary are still there and not burnt to the ground.

In my head the Ninth Ward dives are still waiting for me when Addy's old enough for a sitter.

In my head the hospital where I had Addy still has a roof and is not flooded.

In my head the sun still pours through the windows of our house and Michelob barks next door.

Our plans are still uncertain but we are settling into the hotel. The cats are happy to be the only animals around and last night Thibodaux slept at Addy's head. I think that she was worried about Addy being cold since The Husband insists on keeping the room around thirty-three degrees.

The husband will probably have to head back to the city within the next couple of weeks. Unfortunately criminals are being detained rather than shot on sight which would be more efficient.

As I watch the news I see that New Orleans' dirty little secret is out and that is the amount of poverty in the city and the lack of resources provided to people. What has happened is such a huge sociological experiment - to take a city and disperse its residents around the country. Who will come back? Who will make new lives for themselves and end the vicious cycle of poverty and crime that plagues so many New Orleans' youth? I hope that someone is taking notes.

Finally, someone asked me the other day what I thought about the proposals to not rebuild the city. After recovering from what felt like a punch in the stomach, I gave a bland answer about how there's plenty of New Orleans still there and in good shape. After chewing on the question later, I thought about the city as my home. We've been there for five years. We bought our first house there and our child was born in that city. I had romantic notions of going with The Husband blocks from our home to the levee one day and introducing Addy to the Mississippi. I've always said that I would one day like to move but maybe being part of the restoration will make me more invested. I am hopeful that good will come of this and that the city will be able to start over to some degree now that it has received so much national attention. New Orleans is my home and as long as there are still some Oaks standing, I will find beauty there.

A Thousand Words

Because we were without power and a TV, we have only seen footage for the past two days. We had a radio where we were and we heard all the news but there is of course nothing like seeing it. I've cried some - mostly when I see areas that I recognize. I am so thankful that the French Quarter looks so good.

As we drove to South Carolina, I cheered for the hundreds of military and utility vehicles we met on the way. I had never been so happy to see camouflage.

We listened to Prairie Home Companion Sunday night live from the Minnesota State Fair. The Dirty Dozen Brass Band played and although they were in an open air stadium, you could hear the audience cheer and cheer for the New Orleans band. It touched me.

Addy continues to be fantastic. My mom flies back to Vermont tomorrow and then on to my parent's new home in Tucson. Finally I'll get to hold my daughter at times other than when she's hungry or dirty!! I can't express how wonderful it's been to have my mom here.

We move from Spartanburg, SC to Columbia hotel today. It's unclear how long we'll be there. Everything depends on when The Husband is called back to work and when we can get power to the house. I keep thinking about little things like the bananas on the kitchen table and some moist sheets in the dryer. If a pile of mush and some mold is all I have to worry about then I will be in good shape.

There is so much heartbreak because of this storm but one of the things that keeps eating at me is the devastation to the Mississippi coast. Those homes were so beautiful and The Husband and I were just there in July enjoying one last childless vacation. On the other hand I am incredibly thankful that they were east of the storm, not New Orleans and for that, I feel guilty.

Where to Begin

PHEW! We made it to South Carolina early this morning. Thank you every one for your concern. We are very fortunate. Our living conditions in Mandeville, one hour north of the city, were great. We were without power but we had running water, hot showers, hot meals from a gas range and a pool. We just missed the A/C and cold drinks.

Of course what everyone would like to know is, "HOW IS THE BABY?" She's fantastic. As long as my boobs are nearby, she's a happy camper. She has provided a much need distraction from this whole mess.

We have had a lot of offers for supplies and I think that we are in good shape for now. The true test will be when we get back to the city and we see what shape our home is in. I am optimistic given the location of our neighborhood. If you would like to help, there are a lot of people in worse shape than us and you can always donate to the Red Cross.

Thank you once again for your concern. We love you all.