Bright, Bright Sunshiny Day

I had a high hormonal pregnancy meltdown yesterday.

My parents returned from their cruise, we spent a nice afternoon together and we dropped them off at the airport. Upon returning to the car I fell into a fit of sobs that had intermittent spouts of laughter as a couldn't believe that I was behaving that way. The Poor Husband wasn't quite sure what to do.

Then, after getting dicked around by a prospective tenant all weekend and working on the apartment next door, I decided to make myself some Raman Noodles. I poured the boiling water and noodles into a bowl and went to carry them to the living room. Water first sloshed over the right side of the bowl and then onto the left. I successfully burnt the tops of six of my fingers. I immediately ran into the bedroom and collapsed in yet another fit of sobs. I spent the rest of the evening nursing my red, swollen digits with Neosporin and ice. Although it was hardly worse than a first degree burn, the area it covered in addition to the nerves in my fingers made it easily the most painful and uncomfortable burn of my life. They're only slightly swollen this morning and a rosy shade of pink.

I am looking forward to a good day today. Not even psycho co-workers who stalk their ex-boyfriends can get me down.

Oh No Not Again!

I've "lost" my dinner two nights in a row now. This morning I was dry-heaving when I got out of bed. What the hell? I'm seventeen weeks pregnant. Isn't it supposed to stop? I might have felt the baby last night while sitting on the couch or it might have been wishful thinking. Hm.

:: ::: ::

The Husband and our guests went into The Quarter last night. I awoke at 4 AM and noticed that I was still alone. It's at this point that horrible thoughts start to run through my head. An hour later and still no sleep, I vow that he will wish that something horrible happened to him rather than come home to me. I finally started to doze around 6 AM, they of course arrived home around that time ruining the last hour that I had to sleep.

:: ::: ::

We showed the apartment last night to a nice single woman. I would have loved to have had her but even after dropping the rent $50 a month it was too much for her. Why do people waste my time? The price is listed in the ads!

:: ::: ::

Yeah, it'd be best not to mess with me today.

And Yet More Houseguests!

We picked up two of The Husbands friends last night at the train station. I was a little irritable and antisocial but I hope I turned endearing towards the end. I hardly know these people. We were expecting Girl A but we were unsure of who the second person was - a mystery guest of sorts. I vaguely recognized the mystery guest until it was about time for bed and I caught a glimpse of her tattoo up near her neck. I was instantly flooded with memories of sitting behind her in the hot sun smoking cigarettes thinking, "damn, that girl is hardcore." That was seven years ago. YIKES! This morning it occurred to me that we three girls have probably seen each other naked. Aaaah, those lovely group shower days.

Half Baked

I sent The Husband out last night for milk, Ben & Jerry's and Zap's Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips. I really wasn't feeling well and I'm not sure if it counts so much as a craving as me just being lazy and feeling bad for myself. The Husband informed me this morning that I needed to come up with more interesting cravings like sardines or olive & orange smoothies.

:: ::: ::

I had a fabulous weekend with my folks and their friends. We have to associates coming to stay with us for the week. We pick them up at the train station tonight. I'm hoping that they will be self sufficient and not need to be shown around. I also think that The Husband and I should mandate a two to three night limit for people who do not send us holiday cards or at least keep us on their email forward lists. These folks are staying for four nights and we barely know them.

:: ::: ::

On the baby front ... not really feeling pregnant AT ALL. I've got an ultrasound next week but I don't even have a big round belly like you see on TV when women get ultrasounds. I'm going to ask my doctor if this is just one big elaborate joke.

Tea for Two

I went out with a friend last night to Indonique for tea. It had the most savory smell but the decor was less than I had imagined. I expected pillows to be lining the walls and more satin. The chai was good and less sweet than some national brands. Speaking of tea, it has been a while since I have had the joy of bubble tea. I must look into this. That could have been my shortest lived obsession ever.

:: ::: ::
I awoke early this morning on my stomach with some hip pain. Isn't it too early for that? I mean I'm still sleeping on my stomach! I still don't "feel pregnant" which seems to be a common thought amongst the bulletin boards. I guess that I shouldn't complain but I'm still wearing the same pants albeit more on the waist rather than on the hips like I normally do. I'm not concerned I'm just anxious for the quickening.

:: ::: ::
I have Home Depot errands for lunch which means I get to visit Starbucks. Yum. My folks and family friends are coming this weekend and the house is a disaster. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to conquer the mess and finish the apartment next door. Yikes.

Hi Ho Hi Ho

I worked on the tenant's floor last night placing sticky tile after sticky tile. I also spent some time drooling over the shiny appliances that we own but do not use. I paid $75 yesterday for a plumber to tell me that the reason the rental's hot water heater was not working was because the gas had been turned off. Duh.

:: ::: ::
Not much is happening in Baby Land. I'm sleeping better. I'm vomiting a lot less but still gagging. I have pretty much come to accept that my stomach is never going to be 100% again.


:: ::: ::
The Husband has a trial today. That means he gets free lunch. Lucky dog.

Purrfect Pregnancy

I had my first pregnant dream last night. I warned The Husband when I awoke that I might give birth to a feline.

With Friends Like These

The Husband and I worked hard all day Saturday and early Sunday to get the rental apartment in order to be shown to prospective tenants. The place was in slightly worse shape than we had expected so we fell behind on the original schedule. At least the bathroom looks eight million times better with a fresh coat of paint. The Husband kicked ass.

I sent out and email late last week to our friends offering beer and pizza in return for manual labor. I don't normally ask for help but we really needed it. Kudos to Kristy. She did a fantastic job painting baseboards. Poor thing. I promised her pansies and handed her a paintbrush instead. I feel that as I come closer to gaining a child, I'm going to lose a lot of friends. I'm ready for it. I welcome the change but I don't like it just the same.

We went out the other night with The Husband's co-workers; several of whom have children. There was no drama. No one drank too much and started making out with strangers. Even the kids were pretty well behaved. I'm ready to move to that place.

While Visions of Aliens Danced in Their Heads

The tenants are not completely moved out yet. No one slept there last night but I feel totally taken advantage of. We received a note yesterday asking for one more day. I tore around the house screaming before I settled down and agreed with The Husband that yes, there was nothing we could do. It's ok. We weren't planning on showing it until late this weekend and no one is waiting to move in. I left a note next door this morning stating that we had been more than generous and that they take that into consideration when they leave the apartment; i.e. the place better be spotless and I better not have to bring any trash to the curb.


:: ::: ::
The wind blew hard last night waking me up around 3 AM. I was sure that someone was next door and listened hard for a while before turning on Coast to Coast with George Noory. If I couldn't fall asleep, I might as well listen to the crazies who call in about aliens and trapped dinosaurs in their living rooms. Even though I walked over three miles yesterday, I still had a hard time sleeping straight through the night. I'm hoping this will change.

:: ::: ::
My mother has submitted a prediction about the gender of my baby. She thinks it's a boy. She's got a 50/50 shot but she's probably right. Mothers are always right.

Book Reviews

Since I spent several ours in line and flying over the weekend, I started and finished three books.

Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth by Jenny McCarthy

I loved this book. I have been reading very clinical writings from the Mayo Clinic for the past three months and this book rocked my world. Besides, it was fun catching people reading over my shoulder with chapter titles like, "Honey, Your Sperm Really Do Work" and "Niagara in My Pants (Vagainal Discharge)". I've had a secret crush on McCarthy since Singled Out.

Running with Scissors: A Memoir by Augusten Burroughs

This book came highly recommended to me from two sources. "You have to read it, it's SO funny!" Yes, amusing circumstances at times but I'm still trying to figure out what's so damn funny about pedophilia, abandonment and rape. Burroughs grew up in Hampshire County, that's where I spent three of the worst years of my life at UMass. That might have darkened my view of the whole thing.

The Fermata by Nicholson Baker

I picked up a copy of Vox at the small library in my art school in Italy. I enjoyed it. It was surprisingly erotic without seeming dirty. Later a friend recommended The Everlasting Story of Nory. This was not erotica and is by far my favorite book by Baker. I loved it. Flying back from DC, I found The Fermata in the airport book store. I immediately picked it up and started reading. It's dirty. It's really dirty. I couldn't summarize it for The Husband without feeling guilty for liking it. The truth is that I like Baker's writing so much that I can find the graphic description of dildos amusing and only secondary to what's happening in the passage.

A Little Run DMC Never Hurt No One

I got back from DC last night only to realize that the tenants had not yet moved out. My second words to the husband where probably a little to harsh when he explained that they had asked for an extra day due to the fact that the storage place was closed yesterday (Duh. Everything is closed for Mardi Gras. But then again, should I expect people who can’t pay their rent on time to plan ahead for this phenomenon?)

I took a deep breath and enjoyed a quiet evening of chicken wings and good company. We settled into bed and I was awakened around 4 AM by clomping next door. They must have been packing and the sound echoed through the empty apartment. I was a little pissed especially when I ended up puking (I’m REALLY wondering if it’s anxiety – I figure if I can at least convince myself of that then I can conquer it).

This morning immediately after I awoke, I dug out a pair of heels from my closet and stomped around the house. I also turned up the music very loud and achieved great satisfaction in screaming “WHO’S HOUSE? RUN’S HOUSE!”

I’ve told The Husband that if they are not out by the time I come home, I’m removing the front and back doors. I’m pretty sure that’s not legal but neither is squatting. This is why I clearly state that I don’t want friends as tenants. No one should have to endure this passive aggressiveness unless there is a marriage certificate involved.

:: ::: ::
My brother and his girlfriend ran me ragged over the long weekend. The walking was very good for me and I tried to limit my whining. I didn’t get sick once. Sometimes I wonder if I’m really pregnant since I can’t see any difference. I can feel that my abdomen is harder but my belly fat conceals any signs of showing. I’m really not complaining since I can still fit into my clothes which surprised The Doc.

I saw two good friends in DC as well. It was a nice treat.

:: ::: ::
I like…
Apples
Apple Juice
Iced Grande Light Ice 2% Chai’s
Guacamole
Cabot Cheese
Diet Coke (I normally HATE Diet Coke and I don’t drink a lot of cola anyway. I also think it’s awful to see pregnant women drinking soda, especially diet soda but for some reason it makes my tummy happy.)

:: ::: ::
Since I have vivid memories of seeing the following enter and exit my mouth, I don’t like…

Raw Carrots
Indian Food

Nervous Nelly

I tried terribly hard to dress myself decently this morning. As of late I have to second guess my color scheme. I left for work feeling like a clown. I have on big blue shoes and a shiny antique choker. I’m not sure who I am possessed by today.

I’m starting to suspect that some of my vomiting is anxiety induced. I’ve never been a nervous puker except a couple days before my wedding when being the center of attention was difficult to handle. I take that back, I made myself sick one Christmas when I was little ‘cause I thought I was only getting coal that year. Thankfully Santa came through. Anyway, I was doing really well this week until yesterday at the doctor’s office. I was excited for the appointment since The Husband was coming and we were going to hear the heartbeat. I was nauseous when we arrived and sick the rest of the day. I also head off to DC to visit my brother this evening which is moderately stressful since I could get sick in unfamiliar surroundings. I might be on to something. This is another instance where it’s totally unfair that pregnant ladies can’t drink. I’m sure a glass of wine would do wonders for my health.

:: ::: ::
I came up with the best ghetto baby name so far: Equinox

:: ::: ::
On a totally unrelated note, our tenants called last night to tell us that they will be stiffing us on the rent this month and will be out by Tuesday. There was some story about having to leave the country for a month. They assured me that the place would be clean, like they are doing us a favor. Whatever. There are more pros to this situation than cons so good riddance. I can't wait to be called for a reference.

Arby's Adventure Meal and the Water Grave

I learned just now that Arby's is much to greasy for my pregnant belly. I was doing so well too! Now I have to start the Days Without Puking clock over again.

Appointment #3 - Galloping Horses

I just returned from my third prenatal appointment. I dragged The Husband along so he could hear the heartbeat. Once my doctor found it, the pulse was loud and clear registering between 150 and 160 beats per minute which is normal.

I've gained a couple of pounds which is a little disheartening 'cause I don't feel like I've been eating more and I just moved into the second trimester. Being overweight and pregnant is difficult 'cause I'm nervous to see the scale numbers rise. I haven't been exercising but plan to now that the nausea is ceasing and I have more energy.

Before I was pregnant, I was all about homebirth or a birthing center. Our house is about 100 years old and has probably seen plenty of babies birthed there. However, New Orleans is lacking in licensed midwives. I searched the web and found nothing. I knew no one who had birthed here with a midwife (licensed or unlicensed). So this left me with seeking out an OBGYN that I could trust. I had problems with a visit to my regular doctor when she told me that I read too much and that she was shown pictures in medical school of a botched homebirth with a 26 year old woman dead in her bathtub. I was fortunate to find a doctor in that same practice who seems very accommodating. The hospital where I am giving birth allowed one woman to bring in her own birthing pool. I'm not planning on a water birth but it's nice to know that they are flexible.

We'll be taking Bradley classes next month. I'm looking forward to it in order to get The Husband involved more. It's hard in these early stages to get him excited. He's not seeing any changes in my abdomen and he's not hugging the toilet. I think that after hearing the heartbeat today it's become more real. He's been incredibly supportive of me and I'm so thankful given how worried he is about being able to provide for another person.

I'm the first and only pregnant person amongst our group of friends so I have a shortage of information coming in. I got to talk to a friend of a friend last night who is pregnant with her second baby. I had already started looking into Fuzzi Bunz diapers and her sister is a web retailer of the product. I plan on registering for a lot of them.

Oh, I also wanted to say that I don't recommend doing Mardi Gras sober if given the choice.

Welcome

My favorite guilty pleasure since discovering online diaries years and years ago is to read pregnancy journals. I love them and I always said that when I get pregnant, I’ll post my stories. This was during a time when I had an online diary that spewed forth anything and everything about my life. I began to censor myself eventually and didn’t have much fun from that point on. Besides, a good friend once said that having an online diary is akin to standing in the middle of the street, reading your diary aloud for all to hear. Coincidently, I met this friend indirectly through my webjournal.

So, here I am, pregnant, with a domain, a goofy blog and plenty of server space. After weighing the pros and cons I’ve decided to give the journal another go. If nothing else, I hope to hear other people’s stories, encouragement and suggestions.

Happy reading!